


Love is a child

by Acecreatesthings



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-04 20:16:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13372275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acecreatesthings/pseuds/Acecreatesthings
Summary: Taako and Kravitz find a baby.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm very attached to this child.

Taako stared down at the newborn baby. Her ears were wrapped around her like Dumbo and her white-blonde hair was visible; an odd trait in newborns, even elven ones. Kravitz closed his book after sending the last necromancer to the stockade and turned to his husband. He gave him a quick peck on the cheek. 

“Sorry, Love. They were a bit more of a handful than I thought. I appreciate you helping me out.” 

“Uh-huh,” Taako didn’t tear his eyes away from the baby, hoping to god he was hallucinating. “Hey, Krav…”

“Yes?” Kravitz gave him a look and Taako just...pointed to the baby girl.

“You can see her too right?” 

Kravitz finally noticed the infant and felt his stomach drop. 

“Y-yes I can,” he reached down to pick her up carefully. She yawned and leaned into him. “It’s not… a common occurrence but occasionally children do get wrapped up in their parents’ necromantic practices.” Taako glazed over at one of the dead bodies. The elven woman had the same blonde hair as the infant. 

“So w-what they were gonna fuck- they were going to fucking  _ sacrifice _ her??” Taako sounded incredulous but inside he felt sick. These people were worse than his own family, and his family kicked him and Lup to the road. 

“I can’t say for certain,” that was a ‘probably’ in Kravitz-ese. Taako’s ears flicked down in horror. This little girl’s parents... He gaped at Kravitz, shocked. 

“We- I know an orphanage that’s been-“ 

“Wha- no, fuck that Krav! I’m not giving a baby to an orphanage!!” Taako leaned over as the child opened her eyes. One was a bright purple and the other was a gentle pink. Taako’s heart melted.

“Nope, she’s mine now. Hope you like kids, Kravitz, because she isn’t going anywhere. Meet our daughter, Isabell.” 

 

Angus walked out of school to find Lup and Barry waiting for him. Their scythes out and reaper cloaks flowing in the nonexistent wind. A few passerbys walked FAR around them.

“Hello, Aunt Lup!” Angus smiled “Hello, Barry, sir!” Barry seemed mildly disappointed that he didn’t get the “uncle” title, but he didn’t say anything. 

“Hey kiddo, you ready to go to Taakos house?” Lup rubbed his hat down 

“Yes Ma’am!” Angus smiled excitedly and Lup swung her scythe around dramatically before slicing a rift open. 

“After you bubbaloo” Lup offered him her hand and he giggled before walking through the rift closely followed by Lup and Barry. 

 

They walked into a house in chaos. Which was saying a lot when there were only three people home. 

“She won’t stop crying!”  Taako was shouting, clearly struggling with the screaming infant in his lap, “KRAV!!” He didn’t appear to notice them yet. 

“I’ve got the diapers the bottles the food! She doesn’t need to be changed, and she’s not hungry! Love, I don’t know what else we should do!” 

“Well do something!!!” Taako was sitting on the couch holding a screeching baby, Lup and Barry seemed too shocked to do anything, and Kravitz was trying to set down a pile of assorted baby items.

Angus walked over to Taako who finally noticed him. 

“Oh hey b- OW! MOTHER FUCK!” the baby, who had stopped crying momentarily to pull on Taako’s dangling earrings, started crying again. Angus took a seat next to Taako and leaned over, carefully lifting the infant out of his lap. It took a little bit of bouncing and making noises that were a little embarrassing in front of Taako, but he got the baby to stop crying. After the screaming stopped and everyone recovered from their initial shock, Lup was the first to break the silence. 

“Hi there, Koko. It’s me. Your sister Lup. Exactly how long have you been A FATHER????” Taako gave her a look.

“SHUSH! Lup I swear to god if you start my daughter crying again, I will blast you into next week,” he said in a hushed yell.

“About three hours” Kravitz answers finally finishing putting the assorted items away. 

“They were gonna sacrifice her!” Taako tried to defend himself, “Like, that’s a waste of a perfectly good ki-“

“-What’s her name?” Barry cut him off, “How old is she? When’s her birthday?” 

“Taako named her Isabell, though I’m not sure what her name was before that.” Kravitz answers.

“Not that we particularly care,” Taako grumbled before cooing at the elf in Angus’s lap. 

“Her birthday is May 30th, and she’s only a month old,” Kravitz sounded like he actually went and asked the parents this. Barry paused thoughtfully nodding and Lup watched Angus carefully show Taako how to hold a baby. 

“Angus knows kids,” Lup leaned into Barry, “who’da thunk?” Angus finishes giving Taako a blanket for Isabell and stands up.   
“I have.... experience with kids.”   
“What, you have a baby sister hiding somewhere?” Taako joked bouncing Isabell gently.   
“No!!” Angus answers quickly before pausing. Would he classify the kids at the orphanage his siblings? “Well, not exactly.” 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Lup inquired. 

“Did you get baby food?” Angus asked dodging the question as he walked over to review what Kravitz had bought. 

“Yeah, The Lady at Fantasy Costco was really helpful.” Kravitz explained, “But I suppose if we have a resident expert,” He teased. Angus giggled, browsing through the baby formula and diapers, noting a significant lack of a crib. 

“Well this should work for now sir, but you’ll eventually want a few toys and other stuff. I can help you pick those out if you want!” He smiled up excitedly at Kravitz who laughed. 

“Sure, Angus.” 

“Uh, one more thing, sir.” Angus turned to Taako. “Do you plan on having her sleep in the bed with you or do you have a crib here somewhere?” 

“Oh, fuck!” Taako realized, “No, we don’t have a crib!” 

“I gotcha Koko” Lup laughed pulling out her stone of farspeech. “Hey, Magnus, you there?”   
“I’m here, like, always, Lup! What’s up?” Magnus answered, “Johann would you PLEASE stop chasing those squirrels??”   
“How quickly can you put together a crib?” Lup chuckled   
“Oh, pretty quickly. Probably by the end of the da- WAIT LUP ARE YOU PREGNANT???” He starts bubbling over how happy he is and how it’s about damn time. Lup let’s out a long sigh while Taako snickers at her.   
“Magnus,” she tries to interrupt his crying, “Magnus!” He’s still crying. “MAGNUS!!!” Silence. “I’m not pregnant. _Taako_ needs the crib.”   
“TAAKOS PREGNANT!?!?” Lup lost all self-control and burst out into a fit of giggles handing the stone to Barry. Isabell whined a bit but eventually fell back asleep. 

“Magnus, why don’t you finish the Crib and bring it over here. It’ll be easier to explain in person” Barry couldn’t help but crack a smile at Lup laughing on the floor. 

“Uh. Okay,” Magnus hung up and Barry put the stone back in Lup’s pocket. 

“Great. One problem of the day solved.” 

“Awesome. Lup, meet your niece. Isabell Queen Taaco” Taako grinned at his sister 

“CAN I HOLD HER?” Lup cooed and Barry chuckled.

After Magnus delivered the crib and was finally convinced to leave (yes you can come and visit her tomorrow, yes you can babysit her yes, CALM DOWN MAGNUS PLEASE LEAVE), Angus agreed to have the crib in his room; he insisted on it actually. Kravitz finished tucking the kids in and walked into Taako hyperventilating on their bed 

“What the fuck am I doing? I don’t have time to be a parent. I can’t parent Angus, how the hell am I supposed to raise a BABY? Oh my god, A BABY. I don’t know the first thing about kids, let alone INFANTS! Oh my god, I have a tour in two days how am I going to-” 

“Taako” Kravitz pulled his husband onto his lap and kissed his neck. Taako tensed before he let himself relax. “It’s okay.” He pulled Taako down onto the bed. “Listen, love, this baby girl is going to have six aunts and uncles who can babysit whenever we need them to, not to mention blessings from both your goddess and mine.” Taako rolled over to face him and Kravitz gave him a quick peck on the lips. “We’re going to do this together, and we’ll be fine I promise.” 

“Thanks, Krav,” Taako whispered and Kravitz let a soft sigh out. 

“I love you” Kravitz whispered as Taako’s breathing evened out and the elf fell asleep. 

 

Their sleep was quickly interrupted by loud screaming. 

“It’s the middle of the bumfucking night what the hell is that?” Taako grumbled sleepily, sitting up. 

“I think-” Kravitz yawned, “That would be Isabell.” Taako rubbed his eyes and yawned as he crawled out of bed. He made it as far as the doorway when the crying stopped. 

“Uh, what the hell?” Taako glanced back at Kravitz who gave him a clueless shrug. Taako opened his door and nearly walked into Angus holding Isabell. 

“Sir!” Angus backed up a few steps carefully holding onto Isabell. She was sucking on what appeared to be the tip of a magnifying glass that Angus was holding just enough that she wouldn’t choke on it. “She’s hungry” He explained and Taako squinted at him. 

“Ango, last time I checked it’s the  _ parents _ job to get up with the baby in the middle of the night.” Angus looked embarrassed. 

“Er, yes, sir, but I just knew you were new to this and I’m already used to getting up to help with-” 

“-You’re not in trouble Angus, but we are moving her crib into the guest room starting tomorrow.” 

“That’s fair, I guess.” 

“Right. Now, show me how to make a fucking bottle for the newest member of our family.” 

 

Kravitz woke up that morning to Taako sleeping on the couch with Angus on the floor next to him and Isabell sleeping on Taako’s chest. He smiled and leaned down, kissing Taako awake. Taako squinted awake but promptly closed his eyes moving a hand to Isabell’s back rubbing it gently. 

“Krav, I’m tired and Izzy and I are probably gonna sleep all day. Can you carry Angus to his room for me?” 

"Sure love" Kravitz leaned down and picked up Angus. 


	2. Chapter 2

Taako answered the door to find Magnus holding another crib.  
“Maggie, I dunno if you remember, but you already gave me a crib,” Taako opened the door to let Magnus in.   
“Yeah, but Lup helped me test this one out,” Magnus explained, awkwardly heaving the crib inside past Taako.  
“Izzy’s asleep right now and Krav took Angus out shopping,” Taako explained ducking as Magnus spun to face him with the crib, “Here, just put it in the living room, jeez, dude.”  
“How’re you holding up?” Magnus set the crib down, leaning on it.   
“I dunno man, I’m not cut out to be a parent! I’ve gotta go on my tour tomorrow,” Taako flopped backward on the couch.   
“I could always take her if you wanted?” Magnus offered taking a seat next to him.   
“Yeah…” Taako whispered, “Maybe.” There was a gentle crying and Taako groaned, pushing himself to his feet as he walked into Angus’s room. At the crib he leaned down and stared at her, his hair tickling her nose, making her sneeze before erupting into a fit of giggles. 

“Stop being adorable, dammit, it’s not fair.” He picked her up, deliberately careful with her head. Izzy’s ears flopped off of her eyes and she peered up at him, babbling. 

“Really? Well, that is quite a story there,” He walked out into the living room and set her down on the blanket. “Here, play peekaboo with her or something,” he told Magnus “I’m making dinner.”   
“Okay!” Magnus eagerly hopped onto the floor next to the child. Taako left Isabell’s line of sight and she instantly started wailing. “Oh no, Izzy! don’t cry!” Magnus covered his eyes and pulled them back shouting “PEEKABOO!!” Izzy stopped crying for a moment only to scream even louder. “Uh, Taako?” Magnus, the man who fought a giant bear, had genuine fear in his voice.   
“What did you do this time? I can’t even leave for two seconds before everything goes to shit!” he walked back into the room and picked up Isabell. “Snotling, you gotta stop.” 

She cooed and started sucking her thumb. 

“Here,” he handed her back to Magnus, who seemed perplexed, but held her close and made baby noises back before setting her down on the blanket and playing with her toes. Taako watched curiously for a while; she seemed to be ignoring Magnus only to stare at him.   
“Eh, whatever,” Taako waved his hand and walked out of the room to get started on dinner. Magnus turned his head to watch Taako leave before turning back to Izzy, already starting to sniffle. He carefully picked her up and offered her bottle to her but she quickly began full-on crying. 

  
Taako heard Izzy crying from the kitchen and did his best to ignore it. If Magnus was going to be taking her, she’d need to adjust to him. Besides, he needed to get this rice cooked. Two minutes tops, just two minutes, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. He poured the rice into the boiling water turned the stove off and slapped the cover on before storming into the living room.   
“Magnus, what the HELL are you doing?”

Magnus was crying just as much as the kid

“Sh-she doe-doesn’t l-like me!” He blubbered. Taako frowned and scooped up his daughter.   
“What the hell does that mean? Kids love you! You’re the fucking best with kids!” Izzy stopped crying and started grabbing his hair. “Not now, Snotling,” Taako gently pulled his hair out of her hands.   
“I dunno, but she won’t stop crying! She doesn’t want to be held, she doesn’t want her bottle and she doesn’t need to be changed!” He sniffled, “She doesn’t like me!”   
“That’s bullshit!” Taako handed her back to Magnus who held her at an arm's length.   
“Taako, I’m serious.  She doesn’t like me!” Taako ignored him, walking out of the room. He stopped in the doorway when the baby started crying again. He took a step back towards her and leaned over Magnus’s shoulder. She stopped screaming once his hair tickled her nose. He backed up and she started crying again.  
“What the hell?” Taako muttered, he leaned forward until he was in her eyesight, she stopped crying. He backed up and she started crying again. This repeated until Magnus grabbed his hair and pulled him down.   
“Taako!” Magnus snapped in annoyance, shoving Izzy into his arms.   
“Ah- Fuck, Burnsides!” He winced as Izzy pulled his hair cooing at him. “Take this kid back right now! I’m cooking!”   
“I can cook!” Magnus volunteers scrambling to his feet, “You can coach me!” He runs out of the living room towards the kitchen.   
“Magnus don’t you- MAGNUS!” Taako grabbed Izzy’s bottle before following him to the kitchen, where he waited patiently for instruction.   
“So! What are we doing?” Magnus inquires putting his hands on his hips smugly.   
“Smug little asshole,” Taako grumbled resignedly, “Take the chicken I cut up and put it in my crockpot.” 

  
“So,” Magnus glanced over at Taako, holding Izzy feeding her. He winced at the death glare that Taako shot at him, “Don’t look at me like that. You’re not getting me to take her back.”   
“Magnus. I am. Not. A. PARENT.”   
“Izzy disagrees,” Magnus corrects and Taako glanced down at the baby.   
“You are being an absolute pain in my ass, you know that?” He said in a high pitched baby voice. Izzy cooed and spat up milk, giggling. 

“Oh? You think that’s funny? I won’t hesitate to drop you off at the nearest doorstep. Don’t test me.” He didn’t drop the baby tone.   
“Are you going to tell Merle?”   
“What’s there to tell? She’s a baby. She’s not gonna last a week here!” Taako looked up at Magnus who eyed him. Magnus set down the spoon and held out his hands expectantly.Taako frowned, handing him Izzy. Magnus turned, hiding Taako from her sight. She started crying immediately and Taako scooped her up out of Magnus’s arms.   
“No- shh, baby, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere don’t worry.” Taako cooed at her and she sniffed. Magnus chuckled,   
“You gonna have a baby shower for her too?” He joked, and Taako turned to him,  genuinely confused - a rare expression for Taako.   
“What’s that?”   
“It’s something people do when they’re pregnant with their first kid. They host a party that basically says ‘Hey look at me I’m gonna be a parent!’” Magnus explains eyeing him curiously, “I keep forgetting that you and Lup didn’t have a normal childhood. They were basically an excuse for adults to get together. I hated them as a kid... but I loved taking Jules to them.”   
“Hmm,” Taako paused thoughtfully.   
“Taako, I was kidding. I can take the kid if you’re serious. She’ll get over the separation anxiety eventually.” Magnus held out his hands and Taako pulled Izzy closer.   
“No, fuck off.”  He flicked his ears back threateningly baring his teeth. Magnus burst out laughing.   
“I’m not cut out to be a parent!” Magnus teased imitating Taako.   
“The food’s burning” Taako snarked back “you burn my dinner you’re eating ALL of it.” Magnus yelped and ran over to the crockpot right as the door opened to reveal Kravitz and Angus followed by about five floating grocery bags  
“What the fuck did you guys buy? I went grocery shopping the other day!” Taako stared at them and Kravitz glanced at Angus who smiled innocently.   
“Well, I figured if Izzy’s getting her own room she could have… a few other things?” Angus pulled out a pacifier and handed it to taako. “This should help with a lot.”   
“She didn’t sleep all day I see,” Kravitz raised an eyebrow at Taako, who in turn stuck out his tongue.   
“Go put her stuff in the guest room,” he nodded at Angus before turning to Kravitz. “Here, hold the snotling. I’m having Magnus move the guest bed.”   
“To where?” Magnus asked perking up at his name. Kravitz took Izzy and set the now empty bottle down.   
“Well, I guess we’ll need an addition, but for now just throw it in the basement room.”   
“You say that like it’s easy,” Magnus grumbled and Taako raised an eyebrow at him.   
“I’m sorry what’re your strength stats again? Who here wrestled a fucking bear?” Taako set the crockpot to ‘keep warm’ and started on the rest of the meal   
“I’m going, I’m going,” Magnus sighed, walking away.   
“So, Kravitz,” Taako glanced back at his husband. He was met with the image of Kravitz making faces at Izzy, covering her eyes and opening them, making a new face each time in an odd game of peekaboo. He stopped cooking just to watch for a bit. It was rather cute. _This is my man_ , he thought to himself. “Krav, baby.”   
“Yes, love?” Kravitz looked up  
“Magnus suggested a thing called a baby shower? What do you think?” Taako reached into the fridge and pulled out a few vegetables. There was a clanging noise as Magnus started moving the bed.   
“The party where people bring stuff to help the new mother with the baby?” Kravitz asked making sure he had the correct event. Mortal celebrations still tended to confuse him. Another clanging noise and Taako winced.   
“Yeah. One moment.” He ran over to Magnus and cast levitate on the bed. “Now stop breaking my walls!” He snapped before returning to the kitchen, where Izzy was laughing at Kravitz’s face.   
“Ah, Boo!” Kravitz stuck his tongue out and Izzy burst into a fit of giggles that made Taako’s heart jump.   
“We could hold one this weekend when I get back from my tour?” A short tour, maybe three days tops.   
“You don’t think you’ll be too tired?” Kravitz turned to Taako and Izzy grabbed one of his dreadlocks. “Ow- honey that hurts Dad.” He gently pulled her hand off of his hair.   
“Nah I mean the day after I get back,” Taako explained.   
“Okay…” Kravitz made another face at Izzy and she burst into a fit of giggles. “Do you want me to ask Angus to help me send out invites?”   
“Hmmm,” Taako thought to himself. 

“I can do that sir!” Angus volunteered, his head poking out from behind Magnus and the mattress. Almost as if in response; Izzy let out a squeal. “See even Izzy agrees!” Angus smiled and Kravitz let out a laugh. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am working out exactly how long this thing will be but don't worry it's not ending anytime soon.   
> If you have any suggestions please leave a comment!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the wonderful Baby Shower that I've been leading up to!!   
> It'll be mostly time skip fics after this!!

 

Taako dropped his bag in the entryway of the doorstep. His tour had gone a little longer than he intended, so by the time he returned it was past three in the morning. He winced, knowing he had a party to organize the next day. Taako’s ears flicked upwards at the sound of soft whimpers from Izzy’s bedroom. Moving quickly, he threw a bottle of hers into the fantasy microwave and flew into her room. Angus and Krav had completely decked out the room. A few toys decorated the floor, and a box of them in the corner. The crib was sitting against the back wall right next to the window, there was a rocking chair next to it. Taako didn’t have a doubt in his mind that Magnus had a hand in that. 

Izzy was still whimpering as he approached, but she didn’t appear to have awakened fully. Taako leaned over and picked her up, wrinkling his nose. 

“Did someone make a shitstorm?” Taako cooed at her, keeping his voice low to avoid waking the others up. Izzy blinked, letting out a yawn. 

“Yeah I know I’m tired too.” He heard the microwave ding and snatched a diaper out of the pile before walking into the kitchen. He set her on the table and held eye contact. “You pee on me and I will drop you off at the nearest Fantasy Costco, you hear me?” He cooed and she giggled. “Shh, you’ll wake up Dad and Angus.” 

“Little late for that, love,” Kravitz entered the room as Taako finished changing Izzy’s diaper. 

“Good. Get rid of this, babe,” Taako handed the dirty diaper to Kravitz while wrapping Izzy up in a blanket and handing her a bottle. “I’m gonna feed the snotling and then I’m passing out. What time is the party tomorrow?” 

“The invitations said noon” Kravitz threw the diaper into the trash. 

“Nice,” Taako pushed his hair back, “Goddamned train was running late.” He heard Izzy coo and he turned to glare at her. “Think that’s funny do you?” Taako raised an eyebrow at her. “Don’t worry I’ll leave you on the train next time.” 

“She missed you too,” Kravitz leaned over Izzy to give his husband a kiss. 

“Yeah, well…” Taako didn’t finish that sentence. Izzy dropped her bottle and spat milk up all over herself. 

“Oh, look at that,” Taako cooed, “The little shit can’t even hold her drink!” Izzy burst into a fit of giggles and Taako’s ears flicked upward against his will. “Fucking cutie,” He muttered to himself. 

“I’m up and cooking!” Taako said waving his wand gently as Izzy floated in her baby carrier next to him. She cooed as the little toys attached to the handle shifted with the levitate spell. “Krav how’s the living room looking?” 

“Fully baby proofed, sir!” Angus called back. 

“Thanks,  _ Krav, _ ” Taako snarked and Angus giggled walking into the kitchen “Angus, not that I don’t love my magic boy, but where’s my husband?” 

“Mister Kravitz had an emergency work call! He said he’ll try and be back as soon as he can.” Angus explained peeking up at Izzy. He ducked underneath the carrier and popped up on the other side letting out a quiet “Boo!” Which prompted a fit of giggles from Izzy. The doorbell rang and Taako glanced away from the stew he was stirring up. 

“I got the door, Koko!” Lup shouted from the hallway and Taako jumped. Izzy let out a babbling noise in reaction to the sudden shouting. 

“Lup I will personally kick your ass! I told you to use the DOOR not your fucking scythe shit! That’s a Krav privilege only!” 

“Hey! Taako!” Merle waddled into the kitchen. “You have a kid? And you don’t tell me?” 

“I’ve been a little preoccupied, Merle,” Taako rolled his eyes. Angus popped up on Izzy again and she burst into another fit of giggles. 

“I’m hurt!” Merle feigned offense but he moved over to Izzy and pulled the carrier down. “Lemme get a good look at her,” he cooed in his gruff voice. Izzy whimpered and Taako’s ears flicked up as his daughter started crying in fear. He had the levitate spell launch her upward and out of Merle’s sight. Lup cackled as Taako handed her the spoon and turned to comfort Izzy. 

“Shhh, it’s okay, baby, I know he’s just as incompetent as he looks!” He whispered and Izzy sniffled but eventually calmed down. “Right. Merle, you are not allowed to hold her,” he decided, carefully taking her out of the floating carrier to bounce her gently. Merle gaped offended at his sudden punishment. 

“Wha- Bu- Taako!” He complained right as the doorbell rang again. 

“No ‘buts!’ You scare her,” Taako stuck his tongue out at him as he went to answer the door. 

“I’m here! And I brought Lucretia!” Magnus smiled eagerly as Taako opened the door for them. 

“I- Uh brought you a few things,” Lucretia said gently holding a few wrapped presents. “I just want to say thank you for inviting me and-“ 

“Shut up and come inside it’s chilly out,” Taako ignored her as Izzy started pulling on his hair trying to put it in her mouth. 

“Can I hold her now?” Magnus whimpered and Taako laughed, handing her over to him.

“Sure, Bring her into the kitchen though. Lup and I are cooking.” He handed her to Magnus and she cooed. 

“Aww, have you been crying?” Magnus asked her and Taako grinned.

“Yeah, Merle’s ugly mug scared the shit out of her.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll save you from the short scary cleric,” Magnus cooed and Lucretia chuckled. 

“Let me try again! Please!” Merle begged, his beard now covered in flowers. Magnus glanced at Taako, who shrugged as Lup shoved a spoon of stew in his mouth. 

“Be careful,” Lucretia whispered as Magnus handed Izzy to Merle. Izzy glanced up at the flowers and grabbed his beard tugging it down. 

“Ow!” Merle flinched, Izzy started wailing. 

“Right, okay,” Lup scooped her up. “Hi, sweetie!” She cooed, “You’re gonna go over by your aunt Lucretia!!” Lucretia and Taako looked up right as Lup dropped Izzy into her arms. 

“Lup!” Lucretia protested awkwardly shifting to avoid dropping Izzy. She glanced at Taako, concerned. 

“It’s fine, Luce. She likes you” Taako grumbled, and as if in response, Izzy grabbed Lucretia’s dress. 

“Sorry I’m late,” Barry called, opening the door “Davenport was a little difficult to track down.” 

“I want you to put me right back after this. Are we understood, Bluejeans?” Davenport walked inside, his tail flicking with annoyance. 

“I’m guessing you didn’t get the invitation, eh, Capn’port?” Magnus leaned forward on the table to make a face at Izzy. 

“What inv- is that a fucking kid?” Davenport looked up at Barry. “Is she yours? Why didn’t you come and get me sooner!?” 

“Why does everyone assume that?” Lup groaned and Taako snickered. 

“She’s Taako’s,” Lucretia explained, making a face at Izzy that resulted in a fit of giggles.

“Go ahead and hold her, Cap’nport,” Taako waved his spoon around in a circle. “Careful though, she’s a royal snotling.” 

Lucretia awkwardly held out Izzy to Davenport. The gnome waved his tail in front of her nose and she sneezed, her ears bouncing with the sudden movement. 

“What’s your name sweetheart?” He cooed at her leaned forward. She giggled and grabbed his mustache, tugging a bit. “O-Ow,” Davenport hissed as she tugged a chunk of hair off. He gently pulled the hair out of her hand so it didn’t end up in her mouth. 

“Isabell Queen Taaco,” Taako answered while throwing Merle a bottle of wine. Davenport bounced with Izzy gently as she cooed at him.

“Hey Taako, where’s the booze!?” Merle asked and the group laughed.

“YOOOO TAAKO GOT A BABY!?” Carey kicked open the door and Izzy flinched before starting to cry. Avi followed the two newlywed lesbians into the house, lugging their gifts like a pack horse. 

“Right. Gifts go on the table please, sir!” Angus said from the living room couch. 

“Oh good,” Taako turned off the stove and scooped up his daughter. “Just in time for dinner.” 

 

After dinner, Taako ushered everyone into the living room and passed Izzy over to Lucretia with her bottle. 

“Don’t. Say. A. Word,” He grumbled before taking a swig of the bottle of wine and starting on the presents. 

“Sorry I’m late, love,” Kravitz walked into the living room, a black bag sat in his arms. “But, uh, The Raven Queen sends her…” He hesitated glancing in the bag, “Blessings?” He was met with laughter and Taako sobbing. 

“My little bell, She’s just- Fuck she’s so cute! I’m gonna hurt her-” Taako cried holding Izzy close. Lup was losing her shit with laughter. 

“Lup...Lup I’m gonna hurt her please-” The poor infant started crying in response to Taako’s own crying. “-Oh! See, I’m hurting her!” It took Kravitz a minute to realize that Taako was extremely, EXTREMELY, Drunk. 

“Here, Taako, let me hold her!” Carey volunteered and Taako held her closely sniffing at the Dragonborn. 

“No,you’ll try and throw her again.” Izzy wailed in his arms and he started crying again. Kravitz laughed gently, coming up from behind Taako and lifting Izzy out of his arms. She calmed down a bit and made a whimpering noise as Kravitz laid her head on his shoulder. 

“Kravitz,” Taako slurred, still crying, “Kravitz, I’m not a good dad.” 

“I dunno about that love, Izzy seems to like you just fine,” Kravitz studied the scene in front of him. Merle was passed out on the floor next to Magnus, Angus was laying down on Magnus’s chest, Davenport was snickering next to Barry, nursing a glass of wine. Carey sat on Killian’s lap, who was out cold on the couch. Avi settled next to the Magnus pile, looking ready to pass out himself. Lup was practically on Lucretia’s lap, both of them giggling at Taako’s current state. 

“I think it’s time we head to bed,” Kravitz decided, glancing over at Barry, the most responsible sober person in the room, “I don’t suppose you could help get blankets and pillows for everyone while I put my husband to bed?” 

“Sure, just let me run Davenport back.” Barry gave him a thumbs up before pushing himself to his feet. “Babe, why don’t you and Lucretia head back to our room for now?” Kravitz smiled as Barry left with Davenport. He guided Taako back into their room, careful not to wake Izzy with the movement. 

“Krav- Look at her- She- Fuck, Krav, I just want her to be so happy all the time.” 

“Taako, dear,” Kravitz chuckled forcing Taako to take a seat, “No one can be happy all the time.” 

“Awwww Fuuuuuck,” Taako sobbed falling into his pillow. Kravitz rolled his eyes and carried Izzy into her bedroom, laying her gently in the crib. He heard the sound of fabric dragging and turned quickly to find Angus sleepily staring at him dragging a blanket behind him. 

“G-night sir,” He yawned and continued walking back towards the living room, dragging his pillow and blanket with him. Kravitz smiled and leaned around the doorway to watch Angus give his pillow to Magnus and climb on top of the larger man with his blanket in hand.  

“Little fucker is too cute for his own good,” Taako slurred leaning out the doorway. Kravitz eyed his husband and scooped him up damsel style. “AH, FUCK, KRAV!” Taako shouted, alarmed, and Kravitz shushed him. Taako slapped a hand over his mouth and Kravitz crawled into bed with him. 

“It’s bedtime love,” Kravitz whispered and Taako shook his head. 

“Uh-uh, I don’t need sleep. I’m an elf.” 

“Hmmm.” Krav wrapped his arms around Taako’s waist and lay his head on his stomach. “Well,  _ I’m _ going to sleep.” He squeezed Taako’s stomach before closing his eyes. “Goodnight, love.” 

There was a beat of silence and Kravitz felt Taako run his hands through his hair.

“Good night, Kravitz.”  


	4. Chapter 4

“You’re serious?” Taako shifted Izzy to his other hip talking into the stone of farspeech. It’d been about three months since they had adopted the young elf. She was a whopping four months old and was already being a bit of a turd. “Magnus, I’M BUSY. And I can’t exactly leave her with Merle!” He sat back against the table, shifting Izzy again.

“Hey!” Merle protested through his line  
“Sorry Taako, I can’t!” Magnus sounded genuinely disappointed  
“How is it that this kid has seven-plus adults around her but no one wants to watch her while I go on tour?”  
“Just take her with! She’d bring you a TON of publicity!” Magnus offered  
“I’ve got INTERVIEWS Magnus! A school to run, a brand to keep up. I can’t take a BABY with!!”  
“Pfft Gaaa!” Izzy squealed wobbling slightly in Taako’s arms. Her ears flopped backward and she leaned forward, bumping into Taako’s shoulder.  
“Oh, you think that’s funny do you?” Taako steadied her with his hand. “Just you watch, I’ll leave you alone here. Kravitz will come home to a hungry little brat.”  
“Taako, you have a baby sling right?”  
“Well yeah, but fuck, Mango, she’s a BABY!”  
“BA!” Izzy cooed, pulling on taako’s hair.  
“Shush,” Taako placed a finger on her lips and she started gumming it.  
“Look, Taako, it’s just a tour. She’ll be fine!” Merle suggested. 

Taako glanced over at Izzy, who giggled and started chewing his hair.  
“Yeah, yeah. Go do your stupid kiddy lessons,” Taako hung up the stone and eyed Izzy. “Well, shitball? You gonna cause me any trouble?”  
“Aba!” Izzy squealed as Taako pulled his hair out of her mouth and replaced it with a toy that Angus had grabbed for her.  
“That better be a ‘No,’” He warned her.

* * *

 

“Taako, please tell me you aren’t taking the baby out into the press,” Ren glanced at Izzy wrapped in the baby sling.  
“Sure am,” Taako winked bouncing the sling a bit, Izzy erupting in a fit of giggles.  
“A- Taako- But-” Ren tried to stop him from walking outside, but Taako shut the door in her face. Ren let out a loud huff and pushed her hair back. “One of these days,” She shook her head before turning to the spectating students. “Come on! Back to work!!”

Outside, Taako was eating up the attention, as usual.  
“Taako! Taako, sir! Can I-”  
“Taako, could you answer a few-”  
“Taako, how are-”

Taako shoved his way through the paparazzi, flashing smile at the crowd.  
“No, I’m not wearing fantasy vogue,” Taako answered, “I’ve been going on a few trips with Magnus and Merle when we have the time.”  
“Taako sir!” A reporter shoved himself to the front, “Is that your child?”  
“WHAT?”  
“A child?”  
“Taako has a child!?”  
“Taako who’s the father!?”  
“Who’s the mother!?”  
“What’s their name?” Taako flicked his sunglasses down as the flashes of the cameras came at him. He felt something grab his shirt and looked down to notice Izzy starting to cry; he made a split second decision.  
“Oh no no no,” He cooed at the first reporter, “I’m just helping out a local family,” He pulled Izzy closer holding her head. “Me? A father? You must be insane. Have you met me? _The_ Taako from TV? A Dad? Pshhh.”  
“O-oh” the reporter sounded disappointed. Of course, he would. “Well, I suppose,”  
“What’s her name?”  
“Where’s her family?” Another reporter tried to push forward and Izzy started screaming.  
“Please please no questions about her, she’s nothing. Just a local girl I’m watching nothing more.” Taako cast sleep on Izzy hoping that would put her out for a while. “The parents couldn’t find anyone to watch, so I volunteered. Nothing more. Now if you’ll excuse me we have a train to catch.” He pushed past the crowd holding Izzy tightly.

* * *

  
“What are you doing?” Taako watched Izzy bounce on the floor of the train car. She was pushing herself back and forth, something Merle called “the bloom of crawling.”  
“You’re gonna get me in trouble, you know that? I just lied to ten thousand people so they’ll leave you alone.”  
“Ooooohhhhhh” Izzy cooed moving one arm forward to grab his pants.  
“You’re a real pain in my ass, you know that? Just you wait, Bone Daddy’s gonna come and getcha.” He felt a tugging and realized she was trying to pull herself up using his pants. “What are you doing?” Taako inquired as she fell back onto her ass and started giggling. “You can’t even walk, you big goof!” She responded by chewing on her ears. “Stop that. Izzy that’s nasty here chew on this.” He handed her a toy.  
“Taako?” Kravitz’s voice echoed through his stone of far speech and Izzy’s ears flopped backward a bit.  
“ABA!” She shouted muffled leaning backward and landing on her back.  
“Yeah, Bone Daddy what’s up?” Taako picked up the stone.  
“Work’s running a little late,” he sounded apologetic and Taakos ears flicked down.  
“Wait, you mean I gotta take care of the snotling for MORE than a day!?”  
“Unfortunately,” he could hear Kravitz grimace.  
“Well shit” Taako groaned  
“ABA!! ABA!! ABA!!” Izzy screeched from the floor her toes in her hands.  
Kravitz laughed “Hello sweetie. You be good for your papa okay?”  
“Ooooh,” Izzy cooed, reaching her hands towards the stone.  
“Kravitz, is it too late to give her to a local orphanage?” Taako groaned pulling the stone away from her. Izzy whined and Kravitz laughed.  
“You can’t leave her in a room without you. She starts screaming, remember?”  
“She grew out of that!” Taako protested.  
“Oh, right, I’m sorry. You start screaming. My mistake.” Taako couldn’t even respond, he just made a bunch of offended noises. Izzy blew raspberries and giggled, kicking her feet.  
“You, shush!” Taako pointed at her, he tapped her nose and she burst into a fit of giggles again. “Krav, I lied to the press about her, what am I supposed to say?”  
“You lied?”  
“I said I was watching her for a local family!” Taako groaned falling dramatically back on his chair. Izzy rolled over on her stomach.  
“Why?” Kravitz sounded hurt, “I thought you’d love the attention.”  
“I do,” Taako glanced over as Izzy inched forward on the floor towards a toy she’d dropped.  
“But?” Kravitz pushed and Taako laughed nervously.  
“Izzy doesn’t.” Izzy craned her neck to look at Taako at the sound of her name.  
“Doesn’t… Like the attention?” Kravitz asked curiously. Taako watched Izzy return her attention to the toy as she started to chew on it.  
“The cameras and people scare her.”  
“Oh…” Kravitz paused thoughtfully. “Is Ren there?”  
“In the other room!” Ren shouted from the room across the train car. She opened Taako’s door. “You really think I’d let him advertise without me? It’s our school!”  
“Don’t you lie to him, you just wanted to spend time with the baby!” Taako snarked back at her. Ren ignored him and crouched on the floor to tickle Izzy.  
“That’s right. Your Papa’s just a huge pain in my ass. That’s right! That’s right!” Izzy giggled and Kravitz laughed.  
“Ren, would you be willing to watch Izzy while Taako’s with the press?” Kravitz asked and Ren looked up, eyes wide.  
“CAN I!?” She asked eagerly grabbing Taako’s knees. “Kravitz I would LOVE to!!”  
“There you go love, problem solved!” Kravitz sounded too smug for his own good.  
“Yeah, go fuck yourself, Krav,” Taako rolled his eyes.  
“Love you, Koko!” Lup shouted from Kravitz’s line before the stone was hung up from his end.  
“Oh, good. Glad we got that solved,” Taako put his stone away and Izzy squealed. “Ren, stop tickling the poor girl she’s gotta breathe.” Ren took a seat on the floor, folding her legs and sat Izzy up.

* * *

  
That night Taako put Izzy in a “playpen” that the hotel staff had given him and crashed on the bed, knowing full well that he had a full day of interviews the next morning.  
  
Taako was alone. The room completely dark. Until it wasn’t. A light glared in front of him and blinded him for a split second.  
“Papa!” Someone got his attention and Taako’s eyes adjusted. He was standing in front of a stove, cooking something that he quickly recognized as Beef Wellington. He glanced down at a young girl tugging on his skirt. She was probably four, maybe five at the most, her pale blonde hair up in two pigtails, pink and purple eyes were staring up at him eagerly.  
“Uncle Magnus says you should hurry up!” She smiled brightly and Taako felt himself smirk and hand the girl a plate of chopped chicken seasoned with garlic.  
“Here,” He heard himself say, “You guys can snack on this.”  
“Thanks, Papa!” The little girl smiled up at him before running back towards the table where the rest of the Seven birds were sitting and chatting it up.  
“Izzy!” Kravitz smiled down at the little girl as she set the plate on the table. He lifted her up into his lap and popped one of the pieces of chicken into his mouth. “How’s daddy’s little girl?” Kravitz tickled her and Izzy burst into a fit of giggles.  
“Hey, Koko!” Lup walked inside past the table. She grabbed a piece of chicken off the table and threw it in her mouth. “Let’s get this Beef all cKK-” She tripped falling into the stove.  
“Lup?” Taako ran for her but stopped at the sound of clattering over at the table.  
“Daddy?” Izzy was crying, “Daddy? DADDY!” Taako turned back to Lup but only found a pile of dust. “Papa! Papa! PAPA something’s wrong with daddy!” Izzy was tugging on his shirt sleeve. Taako looked down and found himself holding Kravitz.  
“Krav, Krav, baby wake up!” Kravitz wasn’t moving. “Kravitz! Krav, this isn’t funny. Kravitz-” He heard a choking sound and whipped around to see the pigtailed child coughing and clawing at her throat. 

“O-Oh god. Isabell. No. N-No!” He ran to her side and picked her up. “Izzy! Izzy, please stay awake focus on Papa.” The room melted away into a darkness, Izzy melted into black goo in his arms. Then the forms of his family appeared, blue-faced, dark-eyed and staring right at him.  
“Papa” Izzy cried slowly cocking her head. Her ears flopped down and she stared at him, a dead look in her eyes. “Papa, why did you do this to us?”  
“I didn’t- No I didn’t-” Taako stammered backing up horrified. “This isn’t real!” He covered his ears pulling his hair desperately. “YOU’RE A BABY, THIS ISN’T REAL!”  
“Papa,” Izzy cried, “Papa, you killed me”  
“YOU’RE NOT REAL!” Taako screamed crouching down “NOT REAL NOT REAL NOT REAL NOT REAL NOT REAL!” He heard crying and felt something trapping him. He let out a panicked scream and cast Silence while kicking blindly.  
  
He found himself in the hotel room, Izzy screaming in her playpen with no sound coming out,his blankets kicked onto the floor. He sat in bed catching his breath and the door slammed open. The silence spell negated the slamming noise but Ren looked worried. She waved her wand and the spell dismissed.  
“Taako. What the hell?” Ren ran over to Izzy picking the young elf up. “Are you- Are you okay?”  
“AAPPA,” Izzy screamed leaning towards Taako desperately. Ren handed her to him and he held her close wiping his tears away.  
“I’m fine,” Taako said flatly.  
“A-Are you-”  
“I said I’m fine!” Taako snapped holding Izzy close.  
“Right.” Ren glanced at the door nervously, “I’ll go make her a bottle” She shut the door behind her and Taako pulled Izzy close.  
“Shhh, it’s okay, Papa’s here. I’m sorry for scaring you,” He whispered, tears starting to form again, “I’m so sorry” He sobbed, “I’m so so sorry.”


	5. Chapter 5

Angus pushes into the crime scene, Izzy in tow, towards the sheriff who had called him.  
“Hello, sir!” Angus smiled brightly “I came as quick as I could!”  
“Ah, Good Angus- A-uh. Is that a baby?” The sheriff looked extremely alarmed but he could hardly say anything more. He did hire a thirteen-year-old after all.  
“Oh, this is My baby sister, Izzy! I’m watching her! Izzy, say ‘hello sirs’!” He leaned forward to look down at her.    
“Sar!” Izzy waved. Angus blinked in shock and Izzy giggled. “SAR SAR SAR!”  
“Oh, I am in so much trouble,” Angus muttered to himself before turning to the sheriff. “So, if I could just ask you a few questions about the case sir, I should be able to help you!”

  
“Hey, Angus” Kravitz hung his coat on the hook and walked inside to find Angus sitting on the floor with Izzy.  
“Stop doing that! I’m already in enough trouble!” He hissed slowly inching away from her.  
“Sar!” Izzy cooed crawling awkwardly after Angus as he backed up into Kravitz’s legs. Izzy cocked her head up at Kravitz and giggled. “Sar!”  
“No Izzy! That’s your Dad!” Angus corrected and Izzy giggled.  
“Sir!” She squealed and Kravitz leaned down to pick her up.  
“How’s daddies little bell?” He cooed at her, “I’m so proud of you! Look at you already moving around like a pro!”  
“Is Taako going to be upset with me, sir?”  
“SIR!” Izzy repeated and Angus grimaced.  
“Is this one of those baby milestone things that Magnus was talking about?” Kravitz asked and Angus nodded.  
“Well…” He paused thoughtfully and almost as if on cue Taako waltzed into the front door. Izzy turned and let out a screech.  
“SIR!”  
  
Needless to say, Taako was less than thrilled.  
  
“Krav, tell me I’m wrong. Tell me our daughter did not just call me, Taako from TV, her FATHER, ‘ _Sir_.’” Angus slowly inched away and Taako reached a hand out and pulled him back. “Ango. Explain. Now.”  
“Sir- I look- I’m sorry sir I didn’t mean to make that her first word. I just-”  
“SIR!” Izzy squealed again and Taako looked her in the eyes.  
“No, Izzy. It’s Papa.”  
“SIR!”  
“PAPA!!” Taako countered.  
“SIR!!” Izzy squealed giggling “Sir sir sir sir sir!” Taako let out an anguished groan and turned to Angus.  
“Agnes, Ango, Angus. You are forbidden from calling me ‘sir.’” Angus opened his mouth to protest. “Call me Papa, Father, Dad, Whatever the hell you want just do NOT call me sir.” Angus closed his mouth and Taako hesitated before adding. “And the same goes for Kravitz am I made clear?”  
“Yes s- father” He Frowned unsure about the new word on his lips but Taako seemed satisfied. Kravitz kissed Taako’s cheek before setting Izzy down on the floor, holding her hands.  
“Ready?” He whispered and Izzy leaned her neck back to look at Kravitz. “Go to papa!” Izzy responded by blowing raspberries and kicking her feet. Taako set his bag down and crouched holding his hands out.  
“Come here, my little bell. C’mere, snotling. C’mere!” Izzy released one of Kravitz’s hands and reached for Taako. She careened to the left and ended up swinging until Kravitz gently set her down on her hands and knees. In which case she crawled over to Taako, cooing  
“Sir!!!! Sir!” She cooed.  
“I cannot wait until you are old enough to feel embarrassment. You will never see the light of day without being reminded that your first word was SIR.” Taako picked his daughter up holding her above his head before casting levitate on her and dragging her into the kitchen with him.  “Now, what does Papa’s little bell want for dinner?” Izzy replied with meaningless babbling and Taako frowned thoughtfully. “You’re right, I’m thinking we get you your baby mush, have Krav feed that to you. And I’ll make Ango his... favorite.” 

Angus did not seem excited to find out what Taako had in mind.  
Taako made stuffed peppers, the bane of Angus’ existence.  
“Dad” Kravitz was trying to get Izzy to repeat. Angus sat picking at his plate of peppers, a disgusted look on his face.   
“Sir!” Izzy giggled before letting Kravitz put the spoon in her mouth.  
“Just give up, Bone Daddy,” Taako groaned setting the plate on the table. “We’re gonna be ‘sir’ for the rest of our lives.”  
“Dady!” Izzy cooed and both Taako and Kravitz sat up. “Dady dadydadydadydady” She babbled, accidentally smacking the spoonful of blue baby mush that Kravitz had towards her. Angus shot Taako a smug look. Kravitz wiped his face off and did the same. Taako’s ears turned red and he pulled his hat down to hide his embarrassment.

* * *

  
  
“Alright, Taako’s Little Bell,” Barry picked up Izzy, “You get to stay with Uncle Barry for today.”  
“Sir!” 

Barry sputtered at her reaction  
“U-Uh no. No sweetie I’m Barry. Ba- Ree”  
“Dady?” Izzy cocked her head, studying him like a cat. Somehow that wasn’t any better, and Barry let out choking laugh.  
“Barry!” He tried again setting her down on the table. She stood nervously holding his hands for balance. “Barry!”  
“Bawee Baweeeeee,” She cooed and Barry sighed.  
“Y- you know what fine. Close enough.” He set her down on the table right as the door opened.  
“Woop!” She squealed and sure enough, when Barry glanced behind him,  Lup was walking inside, hanging her cloak on the hook and tossing her scythe aside.  
“Hello, Izzy! How’s Woop’s Wittle Bell doing?”  
“How long have you been trying to get her to call you that?” Barry asked curiously and Lup eyed him smugly.  
“Since she started making noises.”  
“Woop!” Izzy started crawling and nearly fell off the table. Lup did a dive for her and managed to snatch her right before her head hit the floor.  
“Jeez, kiddo, chill!” Lup tossed her in the air and readjusted her grip before setting Izzy on her hip. “Aunty Woop is gonna make you some fantastic applesauce.”  


* * *

  
“Johann! Johann, no! Sit!” Magnus scooped up the laughing Izzy. Her hair was getting longer, and her ears were pulled behind her in a loose ponytail. She was currently wiping the dog slobber off of her face with her rainbow sweater. Taako insisted he had no idea where she had gotten the sweater, but it wasn't hard for Magnus to guess. The hand-stitched style was too perfect for him not to know. “Do you like my puppies?” He smirked.   
“Sir!” Izzy squealed and Magnus cackled.  
“No, Izzy, I’m Magnus!” She reached out and grabbed his sideburns before cocking her head.  
“Mama?” Magnus coughed out a laugh and held Izzy out, letting her feet dangle  
“Well, I mean I guess that’s at least close to Magnus,” he laughed and Izzy gave him a bright smile.  
“Maga!” she kicked her feet. “Maga Maga Maga!” Magnus grinned from ear to ear.  
“Oh really?” He laughed, “Well hang on then!” He swung her around and threw her into the air before catching her again. This brought out a huge fit of giggles and she grabbed his thumbs.  
“Okay and a one a two and THREE” Magnus threw her up into the air and let her fly up a foot or so before jumping up and catching her bringing her back to his hip with a little swing. She laughed breathlessly before kicking her feet babbling in a language only she could understand.  


* * *

  
Lucretia opened her door to find Taako standing outside with Izzy on one hip and a bag of baby items on the other.  
“I just want you to know, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have any other choice.” He shifted Izzy on his hip, “Kravitz and the rest of the reapers are gone, and I HAVE to go but I can’t take her with.” Lucretia hesitated before nodding. “I’ll be back in a couple of days if you need something call, Magnus. He’s her favorite, besides me of course.” He handed Izzy to her and she awkwardly adjusted before setting the infant elf on her hip.  
“Thank you, Taako,” Lucretia whispered and Taako rolled his eyes walking away. But his ears were flicked up.

* * *

  
“I’m not gonna hurt you!!” Merle tried to convince the screaming infant but to no avail. She kept screaming. He eventually set her down on his living room floor and took a seat on the opposite side of the room. She sat on the floor, her lip quivering. Merle groaned and reached his wooden hand out towards her. A flower bloomed on the end of it and she stared in awe before reaching a hand for it.  
“Look. One of these days you’re gonna realize I’m not gonna hurt ya” Merle sighed as Izzy stopped crying to pick the flower. There was a moment of beautiful silence.  
  
And then Izzy shoved the flower in her mouth.  
  
“What! Hey!! Spit that out!!” He reached into her mouth and pulled the flower out. Aaaand she was crying again. Merle groaned; this was going to be a long weekend.  


* * *

  
Davenport glanced over at the child crawling towards the water; her dark purple swimsuit had a cute pink tutu on it. He walked over to her and leaned down in front of her.  
“Where do you think you're going?” He asked her. She sat back and giggled, reaching out to tug on his mustache. Davenport winced slightly and pulled the hair out of her hand once again.  
“Alright,” he grunted, picking her up. “You wanna go swimming? Let’s go swimming.”  


* * *

  
Kravitz was struggling to get a skirt on Izzy. Well, not really _struggling_ , but Izzy’s laughter whenever she ‘got away’ was too cute to not prolong.  
“Come to daddy!” He chuckled and scooped her up holding her upside down as he finally pulled the skirt on.  
“Daddy Daddy Daddy!!” She giggled squirming as he turned her right side up and set her on his shoulders. Taako opened the front door and grinned at his husband and daughter.  
“Picnic day!” Taako announced proudly. Kravitz leaned down to kiss him. Izzy cooed and leaned forward, planting her lips on Taako’s nose, making a smacking noise before pulling away. Taako flushed brightly, his ears flicking up. He looked away and opened the door for Kravitz revealing a set up on the porch  
“It’s a Saturday, so the press should be coming around any minute now,” Taako explained as Kravitz set Izzy down in her spot. A few soft foods and cereals were decorated around her spot and she started munching on them. “Figured we could watch the light show.” Kravitz took his seat beside taako and leaned over to kiss him. A butterfly flew past them and Izzy giggled as it landed on her nose before flying away.  
  
No one saw Izzy crawl over to the edge of the porch. No one saw Izzy lower herself down onto the grass and start crawling towards the butterfly. No one noticed as Izzy tripped at least five of the traps that taako had had set up for the press.  
  
Kravitz heard the trap coming before he saw it. He heard the warning noise that Taako had implemented. Claiming “I don’t want to kill them, just scare the living bejeezus out of them”. Kravitz turned curiously and to his horror saw Izzy in the middle of the yard.  
“ISABELL!” He shouted his body moving for him. He felt his skin melting away to give him an advantage in speed as he dove for his daughter. His arms wrapped around her right as the fireball launched for them.

 

Taako watched in horror as both his husband and his daughter disappeared in the flames. He fell backward as the fire cleared leaving nothing but smoldering grass. His husband… his daughter… gone. All behind a trap meant to keep the press out. All this to keep the stupid press out!? WAS IT WORTH IT?? YOU KEPT THE PRESS OUT BUT WAS IT WORTH IT!?!? Taako pulled his knees to his chest as his breathing quickened and the tears came.   


  
The press that day heard the explosions followed by a loud panicked scream and decided that it was probably best to leave the Taaco household alone for the day.  


  
Kravitz sat in the astral plane, forcing himself to relax and hugging Izzy tightly. Isabell took one look at his skull face and let out a terrified shriek and started screaming in fear. Kravitz’s heart leapt into his throat.  
“No, no, no, Sweetie it’s me it’s daddy.” She only cried in response.  
“Kravitz?” Julia walked out of her house confused. “Kravitz what the fuck!?” She walked over to the larger man. “I wasn’t expecting a visit from you today!”  
“I, uh-“ Kravitz looked up from Izzy, “Here, can you hold her for a moment?” He handed Izzy to her so he could melt his skin back on. Julia held Izzy whispering comforting words to her as she bounced.

“Hey, sweetie. What’s your name?” She asked curiously and Kravitz walked into Izzy’s sight in his human, skin-on, form.  
“Okay, Isabell. See? It’s just daddy.” He reached out towards her and Izzy leaned away from Julia, still hiccuping, but the tears drying. 

“Thank you, Julia.”  
“No problem, Kravitz,” Julia winked, “I didn’t peg you as the fatherly type?”  
“Uh,” He looked at Izzy before shrugging sheepishly. “Neither did I. Taako and I are figuring this out together.” He laughed before smacking his forehead. “CRAP. Taako!” He summoned his scythe. “Thank you again, Julia. Magnus says he loves you.”  
“He always does,” Julia laughed gently, “Tell him the same!”  
“Goodbye!” Kravitz jumped through a rift and landed on the porch behind a hyperventilating Taako. 

“Taako,” He said gently and Taako inhaled sharply sitting up and smacking the back of his head on Kravitz’s knee.  
“OW! Mother F-“ Taako stopped himself from swearing when he saw Isabell in Kravitz’s arms. “Oh thank god!” He was sobbing again and pulled them both into a hug. Kravitz looked out at the yard before kissing Taako’s forehead.  
“Uh, perhaps we should just get a gate…” Kravitz Suggested watching Izzy grab Taako’s face and place a smacking kiss on his nose. Taako laughed, tears rolling down his cheeks.  
“Yeah. Yeah, Let’s do that.” He grabbed Izzy out of Kravitz’s arms and held her close. “You scared Papa. Don’t EVER do that again”  
“Fafa!” Izzy cooed grabbing Taako's nose and his ears flicked up as he looked over at Kravitz unable to keep the smile off of his face.  
“Y-Yeah. Sure, kiddo. I’m Fafa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there!! 
> 
> If you want more Izzy I might write some Drabbles on my Tumblr @Acecreates. I haven't decided if I'll post anymore Izzy on A03 yet.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it.

“Woop woop!” Izzy waddled after her aunt and Taako shot his sister a death glare, obviously jealous. 

“Happy Candlenights!” Lup ignored Taako as she scooped up Izzy. “How’s my little bell doing?” 

“She’s  _ my _ bell,” Taako grumbled from Kravitz’s lap “Where is everyone anyways? It's the snotball’s first Candlenights you’d think the party would be higher on their priorities.” 

“Here, sorry,” Barry walked through the rift with a well dressed Davenport.

“Dabenpo!!” Izzy squealed leaning towards the short gnome much to Lup’s dismay.

“Hey, Taako?” Magnus’s voice echoed through his stone of far speech. “Uh. Can you meet us outside that screaming cave in about ten minutes?” 

“Why?”

“Tell him to hurry and move his ass!” Merle’s voice screeched in the background. Lup raised an eyebrow and taako sighed.

“Watch the snotball. Lup you’re on food duty. I’ll be back”  Izzy watched her father disappear and her eyes widened. 

“Fafa!” She screamed and Davenport chuckled bouncing the young elf a bit.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, ‘Fafa’ will be back” he promised and Izzy turned to him grabbing both ends of his mustache. 

* * *

 

“Isabell, come here sweetheart,” Lucretia called, hoping to keep the young elf away from the presents for just a little longer. 

“Wooooooo!” Izzy cooed before making stumbling waddles towards the white-haired woman.

“Mookie, please stop eating the candy canes.” Mavis pulled her brother's hand away from the tree. Mookie responded by pouting until Izzy fell backward into him. 

“ITS A BABY!” He shouted for the fifth time and picking up the young elf 

“MOO!” Izzy squealed and Mavis made a worried noise as Mookie lifted Izzy above his head and took off, making engine noises with his mouth.

“A baby! A baby! A baby!” Mookie chanted eagerly until Kravitz plucked the young elf away from the boy. 

“Daddy!” Izzy squealed as Kravitz straightened out her red dress and blew kisses into her neck. 

“All that’s missing is the Tres Horny Boys” Killian joked from the couch. The door opened, letting the cold air in. 

“I don’t care if you’re technically Santa now! I’m not blowing my spell slots so you can give toys to everyone in the world!” 

“Speak of the devil and he-” Carey was soon cut off by Lup’s overwhelming loud laughter. Taako’s sister was on the ground laughing her ass off. 

“Go ahead! You wouldn’t know fashion if it hit you in the face!” Taako rolled his eyes, the bells on his hat jingled. 

“Is everything okay? Why’s Lup crying?” Magnus asked walking inside. 

“P- PFft MAGNUS!” Carey was soon joining Lup in the laughter. The only reason she didn’t end up on the floor was Killian’s arms wrapped around her waist. 

“FA-fa!” Izzy squealed in delight from Kravitz’s arms. 

“Hello, Isabell!” Taako cooed, “What do you think of Fafa’s outfit? Am I in the Candlenights’ spirit enough for you?” 

“If you think that’s dramatic, wait till you see Isabell’s gift pile,” Kravitz murmured kissing Taako on the cheek. “The Raven Queen was… insistent on her gift, though I’m not sure why.” 

“Fuck yeah! Presents time!” Magnus pumped his fist and started moving for the gifts. 

“AW HELL NO” Taako used mage hand to pull Magnus to a stop. “Food first. I did  _ not _ spend all day yesterday prepping so we can let this meal go to waste. Food. Now.” He pointed to the kitchen and the bells on his wrist jingled, only bringing more laughter from Lup. Taako kept a straight face and retreated into his room, jingling with every step. 

He came back out in a pair of leggings and an oversized Candlenights sweater that was probably Magnus’s, judging from the dog decals on it. 

“Magnus. You’ve got an extra change of clothes in our closet again.” Taako jabbed a hand towards his room. “Get out of that ridiculous outfit.” 

“No!” Magnus sniffed proudly. “I like it!” He cheesed at Carey and Killian who were still losing their shit. Avi, even, was snickering. 

“I hate you,” Taako grumbled, plopping himself down next to Izzy, who was annihilating the fruitcake. Her red dress was covered in cake and Kravitz’s dark sweater was covered in crumbs from holding her in her in his lap. 

“So, what’d Big Mama get our little bell?” Lup asked casually flinging mashed potatoes at Magnus. 

“I told you not to call her that,” Kravitz muttered before answering aloud, “I don’t know. We’ll have to see.” He watched Avi casually place peas in Magnus’s hat. There were also chunks of turkey stuck inside the bells. The only thing giving the culprit away for that was Carey’s cheesy grin. 

By the end of the meal, Kravitz and Izzy were both covered in cake and Magnus stood up only to have the tower of food fall to the floor and erupt in a chaos of laughter from the table. 

“Magnus,” Lucretia’s courteous tone sounded  _ too _ gentle, “Will you go change now?” 

“Nope!” Magnus insisted, folding his arms. He got a face full of the pie as Lucretia smacked the remaining pie platter into his face. 

“MAGNUS, CHANGE!” The table shouted at the larger man - Taako even standing up to stress the point. 

“FINE!” Magnus laughed, wiping the pie off of his face. He made his way towards Taako’s room and closed the door behind him. 

“God, he’s annoying,” Taako muttered picking up Izzy. “Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”  He brushed the cake off of her dress and took a washcloth to her face. “Maga is a pain!” 

“Maga!” Izzy parroted as Taako held her hand, Kravitz held her other and they helped her walk into the living room.

“MAGNUS!” Magnus shouted scooping up Taako, Kravitz, and Izzy in one swift hug. 

“MAGA!” Izzy screamed with delight Magnus set down the adults but quickly scooped up Izzy. 

“Magnus, if you don’t give me back my daughter!” Taako threatened

“No! Fuck you she’s mine now!” Magnus laughed, plopping down on the couch with the giggling child. 

“Maga!” Izzy Cooed grabbing Magnus’s sideburns. 

“Did Jules like you?” Magnus cooed at her. “You gotta say hello to her for me alright?” 

“Julia has met her a total of one time and that’s all that will be happening.” Kravitz took his seat beside Magnus and reached towards Izzy. Magnus pouted a bit but eventually relented the child. 

“Here. To avoid angering any goddesses who are watching today, we will allow Isabell to open Big Mama’s and Isty’s first.” He handed Kravitz the two wrapped gifts. With a little help from an over-eager Mookie, Izzy opened the Raven Queen’s present. A black robe. Similar to the one Kravitz wore to work. The only difference was the Golden strings and the significant lack of feathers. 

“Daddy!” Izzy cooed as Kravitz helped her put it on. Inside the other gift was a hand-knitted rainbow sweater. 

“Ooh, nice. It adds to her armor class too,” Taako noted his ears up in surprise. 

“Magnus, what the hell is this?” Lucretia picked up the handmade book with the word “Coupons” on it. 

“It’s a coupon book!” Magnus chirped proudly and Lucretia flipped through a few pages before inhaling deeply and turning to Magnus, completely deadpan. 

“This is the nightmare scenario, Magnus,” She stared at him before the rest of the room burst into laughter. 

“Magnus. For you” Kravitz handed him a very thick letter. He glanced over at Taako who in turn dropped the wrapped square in Magnus’s lap. 

“Open that one first, bubbleh” He grinned proudly standing up. 

“Fafa!” Izzy cooed tugging on Taako’s braid holding her hands up. Taako grunted and scooped up the child as Magnus opened the gift. It was a carefully hand painted portrait of Magnus and Julia. The larger man teared up almost instantly. He looked up at Taako and only managed to mouth, ‘how?’ Taako jabbed a thumb at Lucretia, who in turn waved sheepishly. 

“Managed to pull enough strings and we sent Jules the same picture,” Lup grinned leaning over to look at Magnus. “It’s not a locket, but we figured we should save you something for your birthday!” She joked. Magnus stood up, holding the picture, his entire body shaking. He handed the photo carefully to Carey before walking over to Lucretia, pulling her to her feet. He then pulled Lup, Taako, Barry, Davenport, and Merle into one big group hug sobbing his eyes out. 

“A-Ack, ew, Magnus!” Taako protested, “Magnus, you’re squishing me against my bell!” 

“Maga!” Izzy squealed pushing herself against Taako’s chest. Magnus laughed and released the group. Taako set Izzy on the floor next to Mookie who was being distracted by some fantasy legos. 

“Mookie, don’t let her eat those,” Merle warned as Izzy watched him put the set together curiously. 

 

Kravitz watched the chaos in his living room, a smile on his lips. A gold reflection caught his eyes and he turned his attention to Izzy who had a single black and gold feather on the robe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's All folks!!   
> Well not really.   
> If you want more Izzy leave a comment, or send me an ask/prompt on my Tumblr @acecreates. 
> 
> Special thanks to Madelinescribbles for betaing this for me! Super patient with my poor punctuation skills and super nice to work with. Thanks, Madeline!!


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